When I last wrote I talked of being on a road, of the potential fall or safe passage that lay ahead.
But in Urban Life there is no one way or the other, there are always many ways that are often unexpected.
Neither the end of the relationship nor a definite continuation has been reached. We are in limbo, floating in a landmine filled limbo.
It seems in little more than 2 weeks I will move from this place and begin a new chapter, dodging to another flat in the city, I've lost count how many there have been in 5 years.
But it's all part and parcel of our Urban Life....
Dylan
Tuesday, 14 October 2008
Wednesday, 8 October 2008
An Unfortunate Circumstance
The cushions on the couch are straight so everything's fine.
One inch to the left or right could bring down the world.
If you keep everything in its place for long enough you might just capture the moment...stop it from escaping...from crumbling in your hands.
I wrote down what I felt today, posted it on the door for her like an Old West Wanted Poster.
I don't know what answers it will bring, worst case scenario its the first crack in the glass of our love, that swims slowly to the edge, giving rise to many more, all fleeing outward, glass falling beneath them.
Best case scenario, its the first step in curing our wounded relationship, bringing us together to heal old scars and refill our ailing hearts.
They could not be on more opposite ends of the scale, this road tonight ends with a either a sharp corner or a steep drop.
Until then I wait, with fate, its humble servant always.
Dylan
One inch to the left or right could bring down the world.
If you keep everything in its place for long enough you might just capture the moment...stop it from escaping...from crumbling in your hands.
I wrote down what I felt today, posted it on the door for her like an Old West Wanted Poster.
I don't know what answers it will bring, worst case scenario its the first crack in the glass of our love, that swims slowly to the edge, giving rise to many more, all fleeing outward, glass falling beneath them.
Best case scenario, its the first step in curing our wounded relationship, bringing us together to heal old scars and refill our ailing hearts.
They could not be on more opposite ends of the scale, this road tonight ends with a either a sharp corner or a steep drop.
Until then I wait, with fate, its humble servant always.
Dylan
Saturday, 4 October 2008
An Incident On The Couch
Last night I fell asleep on the couch.
I had been sitting reading a letter left by my lover before she began her trip, wondering where that person was now.
At some point I must've fallen asleep because the next thing I remembered my fiance was stood in front of me, angrily waking me. The ashtray had fallen to the floor at some point, scattering ash everywhere.
What was I doing she asked, sleeping, I hazily replied. What was this letter doing out? I had read it I again replied.
She pulled me up taking me to our bedroom, my friend has missed his train and is going to be staying here. A man stood in our hallway, I waved as we passed. It was about 5am, she had gone out after work and only now returned, I guess I must have been waiting for her and passed out.
She said to me as we lay in bed, 'I can't have you sitting at home pining for me, I can't be made to feel like shit when I come in.' I apologised for upsetting her but really I wasn't pining, I had simply fallen asleep leaving the letter out.
Not really sure how this post fits into the theme of this blog. I guess, if sometimes your not sure where someone is coming from, or where you're both going, you have an Urban Life.
Dylan
I had been sitting reading a letter left by my lover before she began her trip, wondering where that person was now.
At some point I must've fallen asleep because the next thing I remembered my fiance was stood in front of me, angrily waking me. The ashtray had fallen to the floor at some point, scattering ash everywhere.
What was I doing she asked, sleeping, I hazily replied. What was this letter doing out? I had read it I again replied.
She pulled me up taking me to our bedroom, my friend has missed his train and is going to be staying here. A man stood in our hallway, I waved as we passed. It was about 5am, she had gone out after work and only now returned, I guess I must have been waiting for her and passed out.
She said to me as we lay in bed, 'I can't have you sitting at home pining for me, I can't be made to feel like shit when I come in.' I apologised for upsetting her but really I wasn't pining, I had simply fallen asleep leaving the letter out.
Not really sure how this post fits into the theme of this blog. I guess, if sometimes your not sure where someone is coming from, or where you're both going, you have an Urban Life.
Dylan
Friday, 3 October 2008
An Old Urban Friend
Today I met an old friend.
We used to work together and during that time became good & close friends.
She was always a genuine person, passionate about her life, kind to others, beautiful in her ways. But now her eyes betrayed a darkness & sadness I'd never seen there before. During our brief reunion she began to mention her relationship, she'd been with this guy when I knew her so they've been together for at least a few years, and how things between them were taking a turn for the worse.
Yet it was impossible for them to part due to financial constraints & so endure the terms of there tenancy they must.
A wiser man than me once said, 'having to much freedom can be as claustrophobic as having none at all' and it reminded me of this situation that we all find ourselves in from time to time.
For example;
How often have you felt imprisoned by your job, you wish you could leave and pursue your dreams but know that rent & bills are lying in wait and so feel like you can't...
You've desired to go off to another country, live an altogether different life, but bureaucracy & cost prevented it...
Or closer to home, you've sat on a bus when someone strikes up the most awful song on loudspeaker, you've wanted, been desperate even, to tell them to stop it, but remained sitting, quietly burning inside...
If any or all of these things fire off a feeling inside you then you get this blog, and you too lead an Urban Life.
A strange thing happened last night, as I lay in bed holding my fiance tight in my arms I suddenly began to cry and didn't stop for some time. I hardly ever cry, something doesn't seem right since she got back from LA....
Sorry, don't know why I'm telling you all this, back to normal posts tomorrow.
Dylan
We used to work together and during that time became good & close friends.
She was always a genuine person, passionate about her life, kind to others, beautiful in her ways. But now her eyes betrayed a darkness & sadness I'd never seen there before. During our brief reunion she began to mention her relationship, she'd been with this guy when I knew her so they've been together for at least a few years, and how things between them were taking a turn for the worse.
Yet it was impossible for them to part due to financial constraints & so endure the terms of there tenancy they must.
A wiser man than me once said, 'having to much freedom can be as claustrophobic as having none at all' and it reminded me of this situation that we all find ourselves in from time to time.
For example;
How often have you felt imprisoned by your job, you wish you could leave and pursue your dreams but know that rent & bills are lying in wait and so feel like you can't...
You've desired to go off to another country, live an altogether different life, but bureaucracy & cost prevented it...
Or closer to home, you've sat on a bus when someone strikes up the most awful song on loudspeaker, you've wanted, been desperate even, to tell them to stop it, but remained sitting, quietly burning inside...
If any or all of these things fire off a feeling inside you then you get this blog, and you too lead an Urban Life.
A strange thing happened last night, as I lay in bed holding my fiance tight in my arms I suddenly began to cry and didn't stop for some time. I hardly ever cry, something doesn't seem right since she got back from LA....
Sorry, don't know why I'm telling you all this, back to normal posts tomorrow.
Dylan
Wednesday, 1 October 2008
An Urban Incident
As I walked home from work today, a drunken guy stopped me.
He was trying to ask me to go into an off licence for him, where'd he'd obviously been refused, in an attempt to stall him I kept repeating, 'I'm sorry what are you saying.'
His arm slid around my shoulder, his hazy eyes met mine, 'Do you want this bottle in your face? Then you'd better go in there.'
At this threat another arm slid around his and began to pull him away, it was his friend, slightly less inebriated begging him for calm.
I simply carried on walking, putting my headphones back in. I'd realised the entire time I hadn't been afraid, I'd been troubled more about being stopped. But I should have been, that small glass bottle he'd held so close to my face could have been within seconds of breaking apart over my head or slicing through my face, permanently leaving me scarred. But I didn't think of that until long after.
It was just a typical incident of Our Urban Life.
I'm hiding in the bedroom to write this, my fiance's friend is over and I've been banished. They just got back from a trip to LA, had a brilliant time apparently, being home just isn't the same. She was looking at student placements in LA today, wonder what that was about.
Anyway, not sure why I'm writing about that. Hope you enjoyed the story, write again soon.
Dylan.
He was trying to ask me to go into an off licence for him, where'd he'd obviously been refused, in an attempt to stall him I kept repeating, 'I'm sorry what are you saying.'
His arm slid around my shoulder, his hazy eyes met mine, 'Do you want this bottle in your face? Then you'd better go in there.'
At this threat another arm slid around his and began to pull him away, it was his friend, slightly less inebriated begging him for calm.
I simply carried on walking, putting my headphones back in. I'd realised the entire time I hadn't been afraid, I'd been troubled more about being stopped. But I should have been, that small glass bottle he'd held so close to my face could have been within seconds of breaking apart over my head or slicing through my face, permanently leaving me scarred. But I didn't think of that until long after.
It was just a typical incident of Our Urban Life.
I'm hiding in the bedroom to write this, my fiance's friend is over and I've been banished. They just got back from a trip to LA, had a brilliant time apparently, being home just isn't the same. She was looking at student placements in LA today, wonder what that was about.
Anyway, not sure why I'm writing about that. Hope you enjoyed the story, write again soon.
Dylan.
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