The Lone

Hey everybody,

Sorry I haven't written for a while things have been pretty heavy in my Urban Life.

I wrote this poem, it's called The Lone hope it tickles you...

I’ve stood up before hundreds,

And felt completely alone.

Shaken hands with a thousand,

But remained an unknown.

I’ve stood high in the clouds,

And screamed out in vain.

Written words on the wall,

That fell with the rain.

I don’t want to stand today,

I want to love and embrace.

But the lone girl beside me,

She has no face.

She turns to depart but in one final act,

Throws at me a burning match.

Our love embodied it spins through the air,

Taking but a second for my soul to catch.

I fall back on the bed as flames spread through my hair,

Encouraged onward by thoughts of love and despair,

Agony more than I can bear she leans in to whisper;

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Dylan Oliver - 28/12/08

An Attempt At Urban Survival

When I last wrote I talked of being on a road, of the potential fall or safe passage that lay ahead.

But in Urban Life there is no one way or the other, there are always many ways that are often unexpected.

Neither the end of the relationship nor a definite continuation has been reached. We are in limbo, floating in a landmine filled limbo.

It seems in little more than 2 weeks I will move from this place and begin a new chapter, dodging to another flat in the city, I've lost count how many there have been in 5 years.

But it's all part and parcel of our Urban Life....

Dylan

An Unfortunate Circumstance

The cushions on the couch are straight so everything's fine.

One inch to the left or right could bring down the world.

If you keep everything in its place for long enough you might just capture the moment...stop it from escaping...from crumbling in your hands.

I wrote down what I felt today, posted it on the door for her like an Old West Wanted Poster.

I don't know what answers it will bring, worst case scenario its the first crack in the glass of our love, that swims slowly to the edge, giving rise to many more, all fleeing outward, glass falling beneath them.

Best case scenario, its the first step in curing our wounded relationship, bringing us together to heal old scars and refill our ailing hearts.

They could not be on more opposite ends of the scale, this road tonight ends with a either a sharp corner or a steep drop.

Until then I wait, with fate, its humble servant always.

Dylan

An Incident On The Couch

Last night I fell asleep on the couch.

I had been sitting reading a letter left by my lover before she began her trip, wondering where that person was now.

At some point I must've fallen asleep because the next thing I remembered my fiance was stood in front of me, angrily waking me. The ashtray had fallen to the floor at some point, scattering ash everywhere.

What was I doing she asked, sleeping, I hazily replied. What was this letter doing out? I had read it I again replied.

She pulled me up taking me to our bedroom, my friend has missed his train and is going to be staying here. A man stood in our hallway, I waved as we passed. It was about 5am, she had gone out after work and only now returned, I guess I must have been waiting for her and passed out.

She said to me as we lay in bed, 'I can't have you sitting at home pining for me, I can't be made to feel like shit when I come in.' I apologised for upsetting her but really I wasn't pining, I had simply fallen asleep leaving the letter out.

Not really sure how this post fits into the theme of this blog. I guess, if sometimes your not sure where someone is coming from, or where you're both going, you have an Urban Life.

Dylan

An Old Urban Friend

Today I met an old friend.

We used to work together and during that time became good & close friends.

She was always a genuine person, passionate about her life, kind to others, beautiful in her ways. But now her eyes betrayed a darkness & sadness I'd never seen there before. During our brief reunion she began to mention her relationship, she'd been with this guy when I knew her so they've been together for at least a few years, and how things between them were taking a turn for the worse.

Yet it was impossible for them to part due to financial constraints & so endure the terms of there tenancy they must.

A wiser man than me once said, 'having to much freedom can be as claustrophobic as having none at all' and it reminded me of this situation that we all find ourselves in from time to time.

For example;

How often have you felt imprisoned by your job, you wish you could leave and pursue your dreams but know that rent & bills are lying in wait and so feel like you can't...

You've desired to go off to another country, live an altogether different life, but bureaucracy & cost prevented it...

Or closer to home, you've sat on a bus when someone strikes up the most awful song on loudspeaker, you've wanted, been desperate even, to tell them to stop it, but remained sitting, quietly burning inside...

If any or all of these things fire off a feeling inside you then you get this blog, and you too lead an Urban Life.

A strange thing happened last night, as I lay in bed holding my fiance tight in my arms I suddenly began to cry and didn't stop for some time. I hardly ever cry, something doesn't seem right since she got back from LA....

Sorry, don't know why I'm telling you all this, back to normal posts tomorrow.

Dylan

An Urban Incident

As I walked home from work today, a drunken guy stopped me.

He was trying to ask me to go into an off licence for him, where'd he'd obviously been refused, in an attempt to stall him I kept repeating, 'I'm sorry what are you saying.'

His arm slid around my shoulder, his hazy eyes met mine, 'Do you want this bottle in your face? Then you'd better go in there.'

At this threat another arm slid around his and began to pull him away, it was his friend, slightly less inebriated begging him for calm.

I simply carried on walking, putting my headphones back in. I'd realised the entire time I hadn't been afraid, I'd been troubled more about being stopped. But I should have been, that small glass bottle he'd held so close to my face could have been within seconds of breaking apart over my head or slicing through my face, permanently leaving me scarred. But I didn't think of that until long after.

It was just a typical incident of Our Urban Life.

I'm hiding in the bedroom to write this, my fiance's friend is over and I've been banished. They just got back from a trip to LA, had a brilliant time apparently, being home just isn't the same. She was looking at student placements in LA today, wonder what that was about.

Anyway, not sure why I'm writing about that. Hope you enjoyed the story, write again soon.

Dylan.

An Introduction...

So it is, the first sentence.

A new way to escape one world for another.

I don't know how these things usually start. I'll go with a little introduction, my name is Dylan Oliver, and I'm new to the world. I amn't a baby, worse, a graduate, I've finished the nursery of further education and risen up to adult school. I have a job, a fiance with a cat, and my very own rent a flat. Sound good? Oh yeah, its peachy, if you look real close at the windows, you can sometimes see the bars.

When you're a kid you believe in Santa, you think everybody's going to be an astronaut or a lawyer but the truth is the world needs more shelf stacker's than spacemen and a hell of a lot more cleaners than cowboys, you're just never told that.

I'm not a resentful person, I don't feel guilt as I scrape away a half eaten dinner knowing it could feed starving Africans. It's not that I don't care, it's just not my world.

You see in this standard, uncharismatic rental dream apartment is the little world in which I belong. In my building are 8 other tiny worlds, and next to that, another 8, and so on. In the city I live and all over the world everybody exists in there own private universe. Regularly overlapping with others to provide the never ending plot lines of Our Urban Lives.

And that is why I've started writing this.

Dylan